What is Mental Load?

Being an adult today often means that you are excessively busy. There can be many responsibilities and so many things to balance; work, homelife, relationships, wellness, the list can seem never-ending. If you feel like you are on a tightrope while trying to juggle you certainly aren’t alone. Many of these responsibilities are evident and even visible to others. What is not is the mental load. This term has been made more popular as of late, though that doesn’t mean you know exactly what it is.

Mental load refers to the invisible, often overwhelming mental effort needed to organize and manage life and obligations. This effort applies to everything that must “happen” big and small. Mental load isn’t just the organization piece, it’s keeping track of everything that must be done and then planning and executing.

An example of this would be planning dinner for the week. You don’t simply say “great let’s do pizza Monday, tacos Tuesday, pasta Wednesday……”. The planning and tracking doesn’t stop there. When will you go to the grocery store? Do you have all the ingredients? When will you start making dinner?

When you are trying to keep track of your family member’s birthdays, scheduling doctors appointments, taking care of your dog, paying bills, meeting deadlines at work etc. you may not always be doing things physically but you sure are mentally. You are keeping tabs on everything, a great deal of the time. We begin to turn our brains into computers with entirely too many tabs open. And we all know how well that works.

Unfortunately, in many households, the mental load disproportionately falls on women, but it can affect anyone who is the main organizer or planner. It can also extend beyond household tasks to include emotional labor—such as sustaining relationships, providing emotional support, and trying to anticipate the needs of those close to you.

Recognizing the Impacts of Mental Load

It can be difficult to recognize when you’re being negatively impacted by mental load . We aren’t always skilled in checking in with ourselves and paying attention to how we are feeling. Some signs that you may be negatively impacted by mental load can include;

Feeling overwhelmed or scattered
Having a difficult time relaxing:
Worrying constantly
Chronic fatigue

Mood changes and irritability

This list is by no means exhaustive, but it gives you an idea of what you might experience if you are impacted by excessive mental work.

In Summary

Mental load is often an invisible force that impacts our daily lives and mental health. When you begin to take stock and pay attention to how mental load may be impacting you, you can take steps to feel better. Delegating, taking care of yourself, practicing practical self-care and simply learning to say no can help. Many of these things are easier said than done.

Learning to balance mental load is an essential part of attaining and maintaining wellness. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your mental load, remember that you’re not alone. Finding a therapist that is a good fit for you can make a world of difference in addressing and keeping your mental load in check.

Recognizing mental load is affecting you is hard. Ignoring the impact of mental load can be hard. Choose your hard, my fellow humans. And don’t forget, therapy can help.