Eight Symptoms of a
Troubled Marriage

Do you prefer watching a late-night TV program than spending time with your spouse in bed or in the room before calling it a night? Be warned, it is a symptom that your marriage may be in trouble, according to relationship experts. Don’t make the mistake of ignoring the sign because one day, you might just realize your marriage has gone “downhill” and maybe even get the surprise of your life when your spouse mentions “separation” or “divorce”.

Getting divorced is the farthest thing in your mind when you decided to tie the knots with your spouse. Unfortunately it is a real possibility. Do you know that about half of marriages in the United States end in divorce? This is based on 2014 CDC Statistics showing divorce rate to be 3.6 per 1,000 total population. That is an incredible 53 percent of the marriage rate, which is 6.8 percent per same population size.

Aside from wanting to keep your love for each other burning, a healthy and happy marriage is good for your emotional health (which influences your physical health). It is quintessential in providing a secure and happy home for you, your spouse and your children. If you know the symptoms of a troubled marriage, yours can be saved by finding ways to resolve your conflicts and start enjoying each other again!

If you are unable to resolve conflicts yourselves, then resolve them with the help of a marriage counselor.

What warning signs can you be watching out for? Here are eight symptoms of a troubled marriage:

  1. Persistent squabbles and verbal tussle: An unhappy marriage is stormed by constant clashes over petty matters or the same issues being brought up over and over. If your quarrels become repetitive, it is a sign of unresolved issues. No marriage can bear the weight of unsettled conflicts. Sooner or later, the “baggage” will wear both of you down; ignoring it will not help.
  2. A silent home: A noisy home full of shouting matches and derogatory remarks is stressful, but so is a silent home. How you must miss those days when there is much fun, conversation and laughter around the house. If you live together in one roof but rarely talk, it is a clear sign that there is a major marital issue or issues causing a rift. Silence can mean indifference, or that you don’t care for each other anymore.
  3. No fun moments: You no longer enjoy the same things or each other’s company. Maybe, you have “outgrown” each other or have developed towards opposite directions having different “work and hobby friends.” Maybe you have stopped talking because you (or he/she) know it is just going to lead to another fight. That may have made you, or both of you, wary. Feeling you can do no right in the eyes of the other may also have caused you to stop communicating.
  4. Derogatory comments and criticisms: Couples are supposed to be each other’s ally, confidante and motivator. Once sarcastic remarks and derogatory criticisms come pouring in on a regular mode, it is best to seek help right away, if you want to save your marriage. These are signs not only of conflicts, but also of dissolved respect, eroded marital integrity, and even, lost love and affection for each other. )
  5. Neglected appearance: If you or your spouse starts neglecting the way you look, be warned. The lack of motivation to look good and please the other is a sign that you and/or your spouse are not happy in the marriage. If both of you are stressed, it can affect not only your moods, but also your motivations to improve yourself in every aspect of your life, and that includes your hygiene and appearance.
  6. Finding other interests: Developing or pursuing a different interest may be a way to unknowingly look for a distraction or develop a defense mechanism to ease the stress. Distraction is sought as a way to avoid a problem or talk about it. These may cause both of you to develop happier relationships outside marriage to the extent of beginning flirtatious relationships, even affairs.
  7. The last to know: If your spouse has another person to share his/her day-to-day “stories” it is a sign that you are not the “trusted confidante” you used to be. Hearing his/her problems or accomplishments from another source is quite disturbing for it means there is a huge breakdown in your communication and/or relationship. The worst thing that can happen is for him/her to disparagingly compare you to another.
  8. Intimacy has turned obligatory: This is among the earliest and most recognizable sign of a dying marriage. Physical intimacy and “sweet nothings” are endearments that significantly strengthen the bonds of couples. If you have a mate who is insensitive and critical, you may begin to hold back your feelings and to avoid physical intimacy. This only further widens the gulf between you.

Marriage is supposed to provide a safety net for both of you. When that safe place has been destroyed or has weakened with unresolved marital issues, its foundation weakens. It may stand still for a while; soon enough it will die a natural death if you continue to ignore these symptoms of a troubled marriage. Find help as soon as you can.

Carolina Counseling Services – Fayetteville, NC therapists can help you identify your problems and rebuild your communication. These are the first steps necessary for you to regain what you lost – respect and trust for each other.

Don’t wait until your marriage reaches the last stages of life. Get in touch with us and let us help you move towards a happy, healthy marriage.

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