Can Marriage Counseling
Save my Marriage?

The answer is YES. Positive results can be expected when you are both focused and committed to the process of marriage counseling. Like any form of therapy, however, there are no sure guarantees that marriage counseling can save a marriage. Its success is a function of many factors or variables. Fundamentally, its success is directly related to the motivation of the spouses and their commitment to continue even when things get difficult.

Having said that, some of the factors that can increase the success of counseling in your own marriage are: a) your willingness to learn or adopt new ideas; b) surrendering your ego and taking responsibility for your decisions/actions without blaming the other spouse; c) your readiness to go with the flow and to change if necessary; d) keeping your word, telling the truth and being transparent; e) feeling empathy; f) your state of emotional health; and g) your maturity.

Depression, anxiety and lowered self-esteem can add additional strain to a relationship. Therapy can help to address these concerns as well and lead to better understanding between spouses.

Do we need marriage counseling?

Most marriages can benefit from marriage counseling, but some can benefit more than others. Anticipating that a marriage can create a roller coaster of emotions, many couples may proactively engage in counseling, even before they face major marital challenges.

In particular, your marriage can benefit from counseling if you experience:

  • Lack of intimacy or connection.
  • Difficulty talking without arguing.
  • Decrease in trust.
  • Difficulty resolving conflict.
  • Major life transitions.
  • Fear of separation.

What is the success rate of marriage counseling?

The success rate of marriage counseling is related to unique factors specific to each couple. Rates of success can also be increased when you find a therapist you feel is a good fit for you and your spouse.

Research shows that the success rate of traditional marriage counseling has improved from 50 percent in the 1980s to somewhere between 70 and 80 percent in the current times. Studies show that marriage counseling has continually worked better for more couples.

How can we tell our marriage needs counseling?

Every relationship is unique. Difficulties can vary from one couple to another. According to Very Well Mind, 10 common warning signs are:

  • You’re always criticizing each other.
  • You don’t have sex anymore.
  • You have the same argument over and over (and over).
  • You don’t argue anymore.
  • You don’t enjoy spending time together.
  • You start keeping secrets.
  • You think about having an affair.
  • They’re not the first person you call.

What is the role of a marriage counselor?

The role of the counselor is to help how you and your spouse interact. Your therapist can help you create healthier responses and improve the way you communicate. In pursuit of these objectives, they will likely prompt you both to speak freely and truthfully about your different concerns. Some areas of discussions can make you uncomfortable, but this can be important to get to the bottom of some marital challenges.

A marriage counselor can be an unbiased ally. They are NOT there to take sides but to help you resolve your conflicts. They may help you gain a new perspective on many things and they can help you improve your communication style. With their guidance and support and your dedication to the process, you and your spouse can work toward reestablishing the affection you once felt for each other.

The Benefits of Early Intervention

According to Dr. John Gottman, a relationship and marriage expert, couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy before getting help.” Why must couples spend that much time before seeking help? It is common for people to keep their problems to themselves, especially marital ones.

These days, it can be proactive to seek professional intervention and resolve differences through marriage counseling, even before conflicts increase or resentment builds up. If you feel that the concerns in your marriage are difficult to resolve, you could benefit from therapy.

Marriage Counseling Online

Marital counseling delivered online through telemental health or teletherapy is very similar to in-person or face-to-face marriage counseling. In principle, online counseling works much in the same way as traditional in person therapy. It tackles the same concerns and conflicts. The basic difference is that the session is online rather than in person.

In terms of effectiveness, a 2000 review revealed that online marriage counseling can be just as effective. There is also a high percentage of satisfaction rating among those who have tried online marriage counseling. Experts believe that can be attributed to the comfort that people felt being in their own private and personal space.

Who do you call when you need help?

If you think your marriage can benefit from counseling, enlist the help of an unbiased marriage counselor from Carolina Counseling Services – West Fayetteville Office –Fayetteville, NC. We can help you and your partner work through conflicts while supporting your relationship. If you want therapy to be successful, it would be ideal that you are both committed to the process. If you have a spouse who is not sold on the benefits of therapy, it is still possible to make things better. Call today to schedule your first appointment.