“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” – Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Beginning something, anything new can be remarkably difficult. So difficult you may even need to resort to beginning your first blog post with a quote. If you are having a hard time beginning again, you are not alone. I am right there with you. 

Taking the first step toward something new in life can be exciting and terrifying all at the same time. Sometimes we wait to feel “all in” before we do something. We wait to feel ready, for the fear to stop, the excitement to kick in and be our driving force. Let me be amongst the first to tell you that you will rarely take the first step toward anything if you are waiting for that to happen. 

We cannot wait for fear to go away before we move toward what we want or what we need. Sometimes we have to just do it, scared. 

I realize that that is far easier said than done. Beginning something new, starting again is A LOT. It’s hard… Staying stuck is hard… You may have to simply choose your hard. 

If you’ve decided to try to do something new, congratulations! That in itself is a feat! You have a lot to be proud of. Though, you may be asking yourself what you’re supposed to do next?

The Fault in Our Goals

It is natural to want to go from zero to 100. If you want to go back to school you may feel like you haven’t done anything until you are accepted into a program. If you want to start working out you may feel like you’re a failure if you can’t run a ten minute mile on day one. If you are expecting yourself to be an immediate and sensational success, you are in good company, there are a lot of other unrealistic folks out there too! Spoiler alert, most of us have unreasonable expectations. 

Starting small works, though it is frustrating. Having impressive long term goals is fantastic, though they are just that. Long term goals. They don’t do much for us in the short term, other than serve as a source of judgment and negative self-talk for the most part. 

Let me clarify, long term goals are not bad when used properly. In fact they are necessary and motivating, they let us know where we want to be and can give us a wonderful spot to work toward. Long term goals can become toxic and defeating, when they are the only tool for measuring success. 

Start Small

As I said before, starting small works, though you may be wondering; “what does starting small even mean???”

We can start small by taking our long term goal and breaking it down into smaller, more digestible tasks. We may need to break those tasks down even farther. In fact I would bet that you will DEFINITELY need to break them down even smaller. 

Take for example a goal of going back to school. You may want to get a nursing degree. Good for you, you overachiever! That’s your long term goal, there are A LOT of things that need to happen before you get that degree. 

When you begin to break that goal down there will be tasks like finding a program, learning about the requirements, taking prerequisite courses, applying to the program etc. You probably know where I’m going with this. There is so much that needs to happen before you even begin the program. 

This is where starting small comes in. The very first step may be deciding you want to go to nursing school. BAM if this is you, you’ve taken that first step. The next may be researching programs. Focus on that. Just that next step. This will help you to stay on track and feel less overwhelmed. 

Let me clarify, you will probably feel overwhelmed when working toward your goals. That is a given. Though focusing on small, digestible steps one at a time will help you to feel LESS overwhelmed. 

Celebrate Your Successes

Setting a long term goal and then starting small can help you to begin to take those first steps. Celebrating your successes along the way will help to keep you going. 

If you wait until your graduation to celebrate or give yourself credit, it is pretty likely you will give up. We have to be our own biggest cheerleaders. Unfortunately many of us are skilled at being our own biggest critics….. but being our biggest cheerleader, may be uncharted territory. More to come on that I promise!

Wondering how you can celebrate along the way? Let me give you an example. Your first step was deciding to go to nursing school, celebrate! You chose a program, celebrate! You finished your application, celebrate! You got accepted, celebrate! You made it through your first day of classes, celebrate! See where I’m going with this. 

You are working hard, give yourself credit where credit is due. Celebrating doesn’t have to be a trip to the Bahamas, I mean if it can be great but that isn’t realistic for most of us. Celebrating can simply be telling yourself you’re doing a good job, that you’re proud of yourself. It can also be macaroni and cheese. You celebrate you how you want to. 

In Summary

Taking the first step can be the hardest. We often don’t know where to start so we don’t. We want to wait until the perfect time, until the idea of starting our new thing is no longer scary. 

The fear will likely always be there, but I would argue that that might be a good thing. Fear is powerful, but we are not powerless. If we can harness that energy, we can make it work for us. 

You aren’t alone, don’t stay stuck. If you’ve stuck with me this far you now have some solid suggestions on where to begin in your back pocket. Use them. 

It is hard to try something new. It is hard to stay stuck. Choose your hard, my fellow beginners. And don’t forget, therapy can help. 

Jaime Johnson Fitzpatrick LCMHCS, LCAS is one of the Owners and Vice Presidents of Carolina Counseling Services. She is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist in the State of North Carolina as well as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in State of New York. Jaime is also certified in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and utilizes various other approaches in her practice.