New Years is generally a time for reflection and goal setting. I generally find these things all well and good, however, New Year’s Resolutions don’t always have the best reputation. I believe that the last statistic I saw said that only around 8% of resolutions made are met, and that’s pretty bleak.
While these resolutions are rarely achieved they are often used as a means of shaming ourselves into doing better. Too often we wait until the end of the current year to take an inventory of all our shortcomings and vow to do better over the next 365 days. I don’t really see that as a productive way to start anything.
This New Year, I encourage you to try something different. Resolve to celebrate this past year as you move into the next. I’m not talking about partying, though if that is part of how you celebrate, who am I to stop you? Rather, I am challenging you to celebrate all you have accomplished in 2023 as you move into 2024.
The Value of Celebration
It is entirely too easy to come up with a list of all the things you didn’t do this year. This is NOT the assignment. Too much focus and importance is placed on all the things we haven’t accomplished, the things that fell by the wayside, the things we would do if we were “better”. This is not the best use of your energy as you embark upon the New Year.
Reflecting upon the past year and taking stock of all you have accomplished, all you have endured, what you have survived– that will make a difference for you. Not only will it put you in a better headspace, it will also challenge beliefs that don’t serve you. I’m looking at you, “I didn’t accomplish anything” person. Put that belief to bed!
At the very least, you survived 2023, and that is something. Though I bet your list is actually far longer if you are being honest with yourself.
Celebrating your accomplishments can be pivotal in meeting other goals. Somewhere along the way as a society we started to believe that pointing out everything we are doing wrong will magically motivate us to do more. What it really does is make us want to go back to bed and pull the covers over our heads. That’s no way to start working toward a goal and it certainly is no way to begin a new year.
Kudos and Goals
While my focus here is on celebrating all you have accomplished this year, I’d be lying if I pretended this had nothing to do with setting goals for the upcoming year as well. I mean what is New Years without some vision for the future?
We are constantly learning and growing, if we stop, concerning things can start happening. As I mentioned, making a laundry list of coulda, shoulda, wouldas is depressing. This will NOT make you want to set goals or begin working toward positive change.
Pointing out what you are doing right and focusing on your accomplishments, that’s where you start cooking with fire, my friend! If you are worrying that this will build complacency or leave you feeling as if you have done enough, you aren’t alone. Many people fear this, though the opposite tends to be true.
When we focus on all we have done, we also start thinking about all we could do. We start to be our own cheerleaders and to believe in our own potential. All of this is necessary to set and achieve goals. Don’t try to shame or blackmail yourself into personal growth, it’s very unlikely to work. Give yourself kudos for all you have accomplished, endured, and survived in 2023 and see where it takes you.
What Is Worthy of Celebration?
So glad you asked! We do so many wonderful things that require time, energy, and sacrifice. Unfortunately, we write many of these things off as things that we “have” to do or things that “everyone does.” Let me be the first to tell you that is a ridiculous mindset.
Anything you worked to accomplish this year deserves to be celebrated. Anything you overcame, anything you survived, celebrate it.
Did you start a new job? Keep on keeping on at your current job? Move? Survive a break up? Maintain connections with those close to you? Pay your bills on time? Decide to take care of yourself? Start going to the doctor more often? Finally say no? Get a promotion? Work to turn around a bad review at work? Ask for help? Take care of a loved one? All of these things require valuable energy and effort. The list can go on and on. I hope that your list of kudos goes on and on as well!
To Sum It Up
The New Year is a time for reflection and goal setting, not a time for shame and self-blame. Giving yourself credit for all you have accomplished is more likely to get you where you want to be than reflecting on all your shortcomings and vowing to do better in the upcoming year would.
Resolutions don’t have the greatest track records when it comes to achievement, however, positive self-talk sure does! I’ve been a therapist for quite some time and not once have I heard someone say they regretted being kind to themselves.
This New Year you have a choice, you can set yourself up for success or you can set yourself up for failure. The choice is yours.
It can be hard to sit in regret and disappointment over goals not met. It can be hard to give yourself credit where credit is due. Choose your hard, my fellow humans. And don’t forget, therapy can help.
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