Child Anger:
Reading Between the Signs

Children can lash out when they feel annoyed or overstimulated; and they can display opposition to discipline and authority. They can cry nonstop or exhibit intense anger to express intense emotions as a response to limitations, criticisms or teasing. When this happens, it can be difficult to know how to react. Anger can be a productive emotion, though it may not always feel that way. Outbursts, meltdowns and tantrums are occasionally exhibited by many well-behaved children with no need to worry that there may be something more going on.

However, when anger is being exhibited with frequency, intensity and without an acceptable reason, you may have a good reason to pay attention. Outbursts can be “normal”, however, they sometimes can be cause for concern. The challenge may be discovering what is causing it. As a parent, it can be difficult to remain objective and tell the difference between natural outbursts and signs of a behavioral disorder. Counseling can help.

Signs and Symptoms of Behavioral Disorders: When to Seek Professional Help

Everyone, including children, has a right to express anger, particularly when they feel they are not being fairly treated. It is a sign of their distress. Outbursts, though, cannot be taken lightly when it exceeds acceptable behavior. However, it isn’t always easy to tell if your child’s anger or behaviors are truly unhealthy.

According to the Child Mind Institute, some red flags include:

  • Your child’s tantrums and outbursts are occurring past the age at which they’re developmentally expected (up to around 7 or 8 years old)
  • Their behavior is dangerous to themselves or others
  • Their behavior is causing them to get into serious trouble at school, with teachers reporting that they have no restraint
  • Their behavior is interfering with their ability to get along with other peers, resulting in being excluded from playing games, activities or parties
  • Their tantrums and defiance are causing a lot of conflict at home and disrupting family life
  • They are upset because they feel they can’t harness their anger, resulting in feeling more uncertain

What Could Your Child Anger Mean?

Anger can mean a lot of things. It is a common feeling that children can resort to when experiencing feelings like fear, defiance, guilt, and even grief and sadness. Anger is unique in the sense that it is a secondary emotion, we don’t simply feel angry because we are angry. We are angry because we feel something more. Excessive anger can also be related to attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety, trauma, learning challenges, sensory processing conditions, and autism.

Negative emotions can be very confusing for children. Studies reveal that more than half of children with ADHD have difficulties with anger as well. This can be related to feeling challenged when it comes to following instructions, completing tasks, shifting from one task to another, and regulating their temper. Children experiencing anxiety, particularly when it is unrecognized and untreated, often hide their feelings and can resort to anger to avoid the source of their fear.

Children who have experienced trauma also tend to use anger as a way of releasing their “bottled” emotions. If a young person has undiagnosed learning concerns, they may act out as they fail to successfully complete their school tasks. If a child is suffering from sensory processing issues, so that they are distracted or feel anxious, overwhelmed or uncomfortable by certain stimuli they can experience tantrums. When unable to communicate their thoughts and emotions, children with autism may be more likely to have outbursts.

What Parents Can Do About Anger?

As a parent, you are your child’s first “line of defense” in facing their challenges, be it emotional, physical, social or spiritual. This can be an overwhelming task. Therapy can help. Despite your love for your child and your willingness to work on finding resolution, helping an angry child can be difficult with various challenges along the way. You are not alone.

Learning about the underlying causes of your child’s anger can be critical. It can help you to feel more effective, as you develop an understanding of your child’s challenges. It can help guide you in your decision making. It can help you to improve your child’s emotional health, happiness and future well-being.

Anger is a natural emotion, however, how it is expressed is not always healthy. If your child is having difficulty managing their anger, you can help find resolution with a caring and knowledgeable therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – West Fayetteville Office – Fayetteville, NC. Call today!

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