There are so many relaxation and mindfulness techniques out there these days, all providing their own benefit and value. With so many options, it can be hard to know where to start. If you are feeling overwhelmed already, the last thing you want is to feel overwhelmed by how you can begin to feel less overwhelmed. The whole idea of it sounds exhausting. 

Breathing exercises can truly help when you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, on edge or simply at your wits end. While I know their value, I have to admit I myself, a card carrying therapist, avoided using them for MANY years. Once I finally gave them a real shot I wondered why I had waited so long. 

The Benefit of Breathing

Breathing exercises are valuable for A LOT  of reasons. They force us to focus on the here and now, being present in our body and actually paying attention to our breathing. It is a simple, yet wild concept all at the same time. If you are conscious, you are breathing, though we rarely pay much attention to our breath. That is until we feel as if we can’t breathe. 

When we practice breathing exercises it is important to breathe in through our nose and out through our mouth, this encourages us to breathe with our diaphragm. Diaphramatic breathing if you will. When we are anxious we do a lot of mouth breathing, our nose is rarely involved in the process. 

You will know you are breathing with your diaphragm if your stomach moves up and down as you breathe. If you are rapidly breathing through your mouth your chest will be doing most of the movement. Focusing on this can help to decrease your anxiety and feel more present in your body. 

What If Breathing Isn’t Enough

We live in a world that encourages multitasking. I don’t know about you but I can breathe and worry. To be quite honest, I do it all the time. What most of us need is a breathing exercise that is multi-layered and leans into multitasking. When you are doing more than one thing at a time it makes it harder for worry thoughts to pop in. 

Let me be clear, regardless of how good your relaxation technique is, worry thoughts will pop in. It may sound strange, but welcome them. Allow them to exist, acknowledge them and then get back to your exercise. Trying to ignore worry thoughts is like trying to ignore a toddler, it doesn’t go so well. When you acknowledge the thought and then choose to focus your attention elsewhere you can begin to feel more in control. We don’t have control over automatic (worry) thoughts but we do have control over what we pay attention to. 

What is a Multitask Breathing Exercise?

An example of a multitask, or multi-layered, breathing exercise is when you do more than just breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. The combinations are endless, though this is one of my favorites. 

Layer One: Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth for two counts. Yes, only two counts. Most exercises will say to start at 4 or more, this can be really difficult to do when you are feeling emotionally escalated. It’s more realistic to start with two. Once breathing in and out for two counts becomes easy, move to three, then to four when you can. 

Layer Two: Be sure you are counting your breaths. I realize this sounds like a given, however, when we are experiencing racing thoughts and heart palpitations we don’t pay as much attention to what we are doing. Speak the count out loud in your mind, or actually out loud. This can be grounding and gives you something to return to when worry thoughts try to steal the show. 

Layer Three: Walk around, you know you want to. Do you pace when you’re on edge? Lean in, go for a walk and get your body moving. This can help to decrease the intensity of our emotions, especially anxiety. Walking pairs so well with breathing and counting, it really gives you something to count and something else to keep you present. 

What This Looks Like: Breathe in through your nose for two steps as you count the steps either out loud or in your head. When that gets easier, move to breathing in for three steps and out for three steps, then move to four. 

The possibilities of what you can pair your breathing with are endless. You can pair this with tensing and relaxing your hands, tapping your feet, squeezing a stress ball, petting your dog etc. Commit to practicing this skill and make it happen. 

Does This Actually Work? 

In the essence of transparency I will say that this skill is unlikely to work if you wait until you need it to try it. It is always best to practice new skills like this when you don’t need them. Build muscle memory so you are familiar with them. This familiarity will make them more accessible when you need them. 

No one on the verge of a panic attack stops and says “oh yes, I should use that breathing exercise!” Set yourself up for success rather than failure. The choice is yours. You deserve to feel better.

To Sum It Up

Breathing exercises can work remarkably well, if you use them. The trick is to practice them when you don’t need them so that they are available to you when you do need them. It also helps to believe that they may help you. If you go into using any skill thinking it’s silly and will never work, it won’t. You also don’t have to approach it telling yourself this breathing exercise will fix everything. It won’t do that either. It will help you to start feeling better and that can be rather amazing. 

It can be hard to try something new. It can be hard to stay stuck. Choose your hard, my fellow human and don’t forget, therapy can help. Carolina Counseling Services contracts with skilled licensed therapists and psychiatric professionals. Check out our website to learn more.

Jaime Johnson Fitzpatrick LCMHCS, LCAS is one of the Owners and Vice Presidents of Carolina Counseling Services. She is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist in the State of North Carolina as well as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in State of New York. Jaime is also certified in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and utilizes various other approaches in her practice.