The holiday season is upon us. This can be a time of fun and excitement, however, the fun doesn’t magically happen. There’s generally someone behind the fun, planning and organizing. This organization can be rewarding and it can also be exhausting. If you are finding yourself feeling overwhelmed or overloaded this holiday season you aren’t alone. You may be carrying a heavy mental load that is impacting how you feel. 

What is Adding to Your Mental Load This Holiday Season? 

Mental load is all the invisible labor we do behind the scenes every day.  It is the work that isn’t always seen such as keeping track of to-do lists, making decisions and planning that happen to make sure that our households and daily lives keep moving. 

Carrying a mental load is constant and unavoidable, however, it doesn’t have to be unmanageable. The holiday season can add additional layers to your already every present mental load. These layers can include; 

  1. Planning and Organizing
    From decorating the home to organizing family gatherings, the sheer volume of tasks this time of year can be overwhelming to think about. There’s the constant mental checklist of gifts to buy, dinners to be made, events you need to go to, get-togethers you should host, cards to send etc. The list can feel never ending. Not only are you bogged down by planning and executing tasks but there can be things to remember within this planning for those involved such as their scheduling restrictions, dietary concerns and many other preferences. 
  2. Holiday Shopping  Gift giving is perhaps one of the most obvious forms of mental load. It’s not just about the act of buying the gifts. You have to take into consideration so much more. What will you buy for each person? Is there a budget? When are you going to shop? You aren’t even done after you buy the present, you then have to wrap it and find a time to give the gift. Not to mention the worry about whether or not the person will like what you got them. Holiday shopping can significantly add to your mental load even if it’s something you truly enjoy!
  3. Coordinating Schedules
    The holiday season can mean an overflowing calendar. While many events can be enjoyable, when they are back to back it can feel more overwhelming than fun. Getting a number of people together during this time can seem like an impossible task. Coordinating who’s going to what event, whether childcare is needed, and what to wear adds yet another layer to the mental load. Those hosting parties or gatherings have even more tasks to attend to further adding stress and overwhelm. 
  4. Planning for Others
    During the holidays, mental load doesn’t just apply to what you need to take care of. You may feel responsible to make plans for others too, especially if they are traveling to see you. Children are out of school and you also have more on your plate than normal. This can add to your mental load exponentially. 
  5. Emotional Labor
    The holidays can also be emotionally taxing. From managing family dynamics and expectations to trying to ensure everyone enjoys their holiday, there’s often an emotional burden that accompanies the season. You may feel the need to put on a happy face even if you’re overwhelmed or burned out. Ensuring everyone is happy and that everything runs smoothly can lead to emotional exhaustion that is not always visible to others.

Coping with Mental Load Over the Holidays

If all of this sounds familiar, you aren’t alone. Many of us struggle with increasing mental load around the holidays. You don’t have to wait until things feel unmanageable to ask for help. 

When we feel our mental load is unbearable it’s important to practice self-care, set boundaries and delegate tasks. While this may sound simple, it can be difficult to do on our own. It can be especially difficult if you operate from the belief that it’s “easier to just do it all” yourself. You deserve support and you deserve to find ways to say no that work for you. 

It can be hard to carry the mental load all on your own. It can be hard to say no. Choose your hard, my fellow human and don’t forget, therapy can help. 

Carolina Counseling Services contracts with skilled licensed therapists and psychiatric professionals. Check out our website to learn more. 

Jaime Johnson Fitzpatrick LCMHCS, LCAS is one of the Owners and Vice Presidents of Carolina Counseling Services. She is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist in the State of North Carolina as well as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in State of New York. Jaime is also certified in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and utilizes various other approaches in her practice.