An increasing number of teens and young adults are reportedly engaging in self-harming behavior. The Mayo Clinic describes self-harm as “the act of deliberately harming the surface of your own body, such as cutting or burning yourself. It’s typically not meant as a suicide attempt. Rather, this type of self-injury is an unhealthy way to cope with emotional pain, intense anger and frustration.”

While self-harm may not mean your child is suicidal, it does indicate emotional concerns and a need for intervention. Without professional guidance, your child’s emotional condition may get worse. Addressing self-harm is critical. Learn the signs in order to promptly identify self-injury and seek the help of a therapist.

Spotting the Signs

Teens who self-harm are often secretive about it, which can make it difficult to see the signs. Feelings of guilt, shame, or confusion may lead them to hide their injuries. Your child’s desire to be independent may also push them to feel that they should be able to manage their personal issues on their own. You may be left wondering how will you know if they are engaging in risky behavior?

When you notice a change in their attitude or feel as though something is “off,” you may want to take the time to check their bedroom, bathroom, and clothes. Signs of self-injury can include blood spots on their bedding, clothes, or in the trash. Individuals who are self-harming often keep wound medications and antiseptics in these private spaces. There are also additional red flags to be mindful of.

Child Mind offers the following “red flags” for self-harm:

• Talking about self-injury
• Suspicious-looking scars
• Wounds that don’t heal or get worse
• Cuts in the same place
• Increased isolation
• Collecting sharp tools such as shards of glass, safety pins, nail scissors, etc.
• Wearing long-sleeved shirts in warm weather
• Avoiding social activities
• Wearing a lot of Band-Aids
• Refusing to go into the locker room or change clothes in school

Understanding Self-Injury

Why is your adolescent child self-harming? The reasons for hurting oneself on purpose can be complex. It can be a way of communicating or expressing an intense feeling that they can’t put into words. It can be your child’s way of wanting to feel when they have been experiencing numbness, or in response to a trauma that left them feeling hurt, angry, fearful, and/or grieving for a long time.

They may also resort to hurting themselves deliberately to numb their mind or to shift focus from their own inner turmoil to the physical pain. It can also be a way to experience relief, though it is only temporary. According to WebMD, experts believe it releases endorphins that produce a “feel-good feeling”—this can make the act habit-forming.

Beyond the Injuries

Self-harm is dangerous and is not something that can continue. Discovering your teen’s motivation is important to stop them from deliberately hurting themselves. Help Guide says, “Self-harm can become addictive. It may start off as an impulse or something you do to feel more in control, but soon it feels like the cutting or self-harming is controlling you. It often turns into a compulsive behavior that seems impossible to stop.”

Self-harm is often linked to other conditions such as eating disorder, low self-esteem, depression, mood disorder and/or anxiety. It is important for children that self-harm to receive treatment and find healthier ways to cope.

Regardless of the motivation, self-harm often indicates deeper concerns that need to be addressed. Self-harm is not a permanent solution for your child and can only bring momentary relief. In fact, it can even cause your child more distress as the anger, shame, guilt, and other painful feelings come back.

Providing Help Now

When you discover that an adolescent child is self-harming, you may feel scared, angry, guilty, and shocked. Overcome these negative emotions and respond proactively, not reactively. Seek help from a therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Fayetteville, NC

If you are having difficulty connecting with your child, all hope is not lost. The therapists at CCS can help. Self-harm cannot resolve their issues or bring lasting solutions. There are healthy, alternative ways to handle difficult emotions. Call Carolina Counseling Services – Fayetteville, NC and schedule your first appointment.

Related Articles:

• Finding Alternatives to Self Harm
• Self Harm in Older Adults: What You Need to Know