The Adjustments That Military Spouses May Face With a Deployment

Many Military spouses will experience the emotional roller coaster brought on by deployment. Emotions can run high, sometimes as soon as deployment orders are received. Deployments can usher in negative, even traumatic thoughts and feelings – fear of separation, worries about the risks your military spouse may have to take, and/or worries regarding the immense household/family responsibilities left for the one staying behind.

Deployment can hit you hard if you are the one staying behind to hold together the family during these events. Confronting the intense emotions, and making the adjustments associated, can be made easier with the support of an experienced counselor.

Preparing Yourself and the Family

Everyone reacts differently when the news of a deployment is received. You may feel wretched, angry, or anxious, or you may have confused, mixed feelings. You may feel the urge to dissociation from your spouse, in the hopes of lessening the intensity of separation and transition. All these feelings can be normal. “Survivors” of deployments adjust using various strategies to feel as if they are in charge of their emotions.

Being prepared can help you to feel ready to do things differently around the home and in many other aspects of your life. It can also help you prepare your children for the changes and adjustments that the deployment may create. This may not be easy for you. This is when support and understanding can be of the utmost importance.

Homecomings and More Adjustments

You may find that just as you and your children are “getting the hang of it,” your spouse comes home and begins to reintegrate into the family. This can mean making adjustments again. It is a common notion that homecomings will just make everything “fall back into place”; if you are a member of a military family you may feel that that is not always the case.

Everyone changes; you, your partner and children can change during those months. Homecomings can be a time of great happiness and celebration, though fear of changes made may cause you to perceive homecomings with mixed feelings. You may have become accustomed to running your home and deciding for the family on your own; you may have to relinquish your solitary decision-making role and begin to make plans with your spouse once again. Routines may need to change, once again you may be faced with adjustment as your spouse becomes a part of the family’s everyday life once again.

Adjusting With help

Post deployment can bring with it so many different emotions. You may feel guilty for being used to a life without your partner in it. You may also feel angry because their coming home is once again bringing more change, necessitating that you readjust again. You may also continue feeling distant or dissociated in the hopes of being less affected by future deployments.

Deployment can mean a lot of adjusting and readjusting for military spouses. This can be extremely difficult, but you can make it a bit easier by seeking support from a licensed, independently contracted counselor. Call Carolina Counseling Services – Fayetteville, NC to schedule your first appointment today, begin your journey to your “new normal”.

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