Summer Time Mental Load and Invisible Labor

Summer can be an exciting time full of relaxation and adventure. Many look forward to this season, filled with lazy, sunny days. While this can be the case for many, it can also be a really overwhelming time for those that carry the majority of the mental load in their household.

While summer can be filled with vacations and relaxing, someone has to plan the vacations and do ALL the things to make it happen. You don’t simply decide to go on vacation and magically you’re there. You must decide where to go, book flights, get a pet sitter, figure out what needs to be done around the house while you’re gone, orchestrate who will take care of these things while you’re gone, pack, unpack, do laundry before and after…. The list goes on and on. Don’t even get me started on all the things that need to be done when you get back from vacation. Are you relaxed yet?

If summer time mental load and invisible labor are leaving you feeling less than sunny, you aren’t alone.

What is Mental Load? What is Invisible Labor?

Mental load is a lot like the scenario I outlined above. It is the cognitive and emotional energy that goes into managing a household and coordinating all the things that go into making it all happen. This can also refer to keeping tabs on all the things that keep life running smoothly. This type of work can be exhausting, however, it’s not always apparent to those around us. It’s almost like it’s invisible. It is invisible labor.

There are so many duties and tasks that go into running a home, with or without children. Tasks that are a part of mental load can include:

Scheduling medical appointments
Taking care of scheduling household repairs
Being home for said repairs
Grocery shopping
Meal planning
Meal preparation
Coordinating childcare or petcare
Remembering special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries
Buying presents for special occasions
Managing finances
Budgeting
Cleaning
Keeping track of household “inventory” like toilet paper, paper towels, milk etc.

The list is ongoing and rather overwhelming. This can be even more complicated if the mental load is disproportionate and often falls more on one partner than another. This can only happen for so long before there is burnout.

What is Different About Summer?

As you can see from the list above, these tasks are constant. They don’t go away or take a vacation. Even if you take a vacation, they are waiting and the vacation will add to the list. Summer can be an exciting time, though the list can unfortunately get longer. Without adequate support you may be feeling crispy from more than just a sunburn this summer. You may also be experiencing emotional burnout.

Summer is full of events and exciting things to do. This can be refreshing if you are feeling supported and not bearing the full weight of all of your household responsibilities alone. If you have children, this can add another layer as they may be home from school all summer while you are dealing with massive amounts of invisible labor.

What Can You Do

Taking stock of all of your responsibilities is a great place to start. Explore what needs to get done in your household and how much of it is falling on you. If you are feeling overwhelmed or find that the balance of responsibilities is less than balanced, it’s okay to ask for help.

No one is an island. We all need support and we cannot do everything alone. Reach out to your partner and/or your support system. You don’t have to manage the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Therapy can also be a wonderful place to explore the toll that mental load may be taking on you this summer, and every other season for that matter. Asking for help and learning to say no can be difficult. These are essential skills that you can learn in counseling.

It can be hard to carry the entire mental load. It can be hard to ask for help. Choose your hard, my fellow humans. And don’t forget, therapy can help.

Carolina Counseling Services contracts with a number of skilled, licensed therapists and prescribers. Check out our website to learn more: www.carolinacounselingservices.com