It can be hard to find the right therapist, and once you do you may find yourself never wanting to leave. I’m here to tell you, you don’t have to!

While one of your initial goals may have been to successfully complete therapy, or to “win therapy” as some may say, these goals can change. It is healthy for your goals to change while you are in therapy. Let’s explore why. 

Your Initial Goals

Many of us begin therapy because we are uncomfortable. Something isn’t quite right, maybe our mood has taken a sudden turn, we are feeling anxious, we experienced a loss or even a traumatic event. Regardless of what brought you to therapy, your initial goals for counseling were probably to feel better and do better. 

Unfortunately, many people wait until things have become unmanageable to seek help. This means that your initial goals are likely related to finding immediate relief. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for processing and finding ways to head off problems before they begin. 

Take for example, you are experiencing severe panic. It is likely that your main goal will be to stop having anxiety attacks. That is a healthy and necessary goal. It is unlikely that you will want to process or address anything not directly related to your panic and that is completely understandable. When you begin to find relief, you may find that you also begin to have other things you’d like to achieve through counseling. 

Goals Change

Change is constantly happening and that can be a really good thing. It may feel uncomfortable, though this can be when the real change starts to happen. I’ll be honest, some of the best sessions I’ve ever had with clients have begun with them saying “I don’t really know what to talk about today”. This isn’t always the case, but it certainly can be. 

After you address what initially brought you into treatment, which is generally a crisis, you can begin to dig in deeper. You can address thoughts, beliefs and behaviors that may be contributing to how you feel. You can find ways to create lasting change and healthy growth. If you stop going to therapy after a crisis has resolved without learning healthy skills to prevent them from happening in the future you are likely doing yourself a disservice. 

It Isn’t a Pie, You Aren’t Taking From Others

I’d be a rich woman if I had a dollar for every time someone told me they worried that they were taking my time from someone who needed it more. If you are worrying that you are wasting your therapist’s time, you are in good company. I’d venture to tell you that you aren’t, but that is something worth processing in session!

I’ve never seen a suffering measuring stick and I’m pretty certain you haven’t either. Therapy can help with so many things and everyone deserves to be the best version of themselves. It isn’t a competition, you deserve to be supported by a skilled counselor. 

Maintaining a connection with your therapist is essential to maintaining wellness. Life can be complicated, you don’t have to go it alone. You deserve support and continuing with your therapist does NOT mean you are stealing time or resources from others. It is actually best practice, and recommended, to engage in what is called “maintenance therapy” with your counselor even when symptoms start to improve. 

Believing that you don’t deserve help can be hard. Believing that you deserve help can be hard. Choose your hard, my fellow humans. And don’t forget, therapy can help. 

Jaime Johnson Fitzpatrick LCMHCS, LCAS is one of the Owners and Vice Presidents of Carolina Counseling Services. She is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist in the State of North Carolina as well as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in State of New York. Jaime is also certified in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and utilizes various other approaches in her practice.