Protecting your Marriage from Divorce with Counseling

Divorce can seem more and more common these days causing it to be a looming concern for some couples. Statistics show that 50% of marriages will end in divorce, it is only natural to have some worries about this and want to protect your marriage from ending in divorce. Many couples find themselves hostile toward each other even before reaching the decision to end their marriage, early intervention can be key in preventing further deterioration of your relationship.

Your marriage does not have to end in divorce. Divorce can be a heartbreaking process that can affect not only the couple, but their children in both the short and long term. Even an amicably-settled divorce can leave both parties emotionally and financially drained.

Shifting Away from Divorce

Most people don’t enter their marriages thinking about divorce. Many want to intervene and save their marriage before it ever gets to the point of contemplating separation. Though you may want to improve your relationship you may be left wondering what you can do before it is too late.

Marriage troubles can come in all shapes and sizes. Just like each person is different, every relationship is different as well. Just as you are inclined to go to your doctor when you feel unwell, you can choose to see a marriage counselor when something in your relationship doesn’t feel right. Seeking counseling can be a proactive step to strengthening your relationship and connection with your spouse. Like athletes practicing to stay fit, married couples can benefit from marriage/couples counseling to sustain their relationship and guard against factors that may lead to divorce.

Demystifying Marriage Counseling

Many couples hesitate to consider marriage counseling due to a number of cultural and personal misconceptions. It can be thought to be too expensive or a strange process that will not usually work in your favor. For many, marriage counseling is often considered as a last resort rather than a first line of defense.

Here are some common misconceptions about marriage counseling:

  • Counseling is only for couples about to be divorced. This misconception likely evolved because couples often wait too long to seek counseling. When they do, things can become toxic and have become difficult to resolve. If you receive counseling early on it has a greater chance of being effective.
  • Only the “weak” need counseling. On the contrary, it takes courage to seek help. It is much easier to just “pretend everything is perfect”. Your marriage is more than just a union; it can be one of your most valuable relationships. Do not ignore or treat it lightly when you feel something is not right.
  • The older generation did not go to counseling, and they stayed together. Did they look happy or was it just your perception when you were young? Many things have changed, including ways of taking care of relationships and improving them.
  • Nothing is wrong. Admitting that something is wrong is hard, oftentimes denying there is a problem is far more comfortable. Sometimes the problems are not within your ability to solve. Therapists are available that can help you to develop those skills.

Can Counseling Help My Marriage?

Counseling can be highly effective in resolving many marital concerns. Several factors can be attributed to marriage counseling being successful. This includes how early you begin therapy, the kind of therapy chosen, and the willingness or commitment of both spouses to engage in the therapeutic process. Apart from love, it takes communication to build a healthy marriage. It requires conscious effort, from both you and your spouse, to look at your own contributions to the relationship.

It is also important to know how to choose a good therapist for you, one who can work with you through the process. Results are more likely to be positive when you and your spouse, together with your chosen counselor, honestly and openly communicate with each other. This can greatly aid in knowing what works and does not work in your marriage.

In most cases, marriage counseling is effective when both you and your spouse willingly participate in sessions and express commitment to complete therapy. When one spouse is reluctant or unable to engage in therapy, the other one may still benefit from individual therapy.

Studies show that marriage counseling yields positive results for 70 percent of couples. About half of the respondents attest to the effectiveness of counseling in resolving all or most of their serious concerns. Working with a therapist that was a good fit for them was highlighted as being helpful in achieving the most positive results.

Taking the First Steps

No committed, romantic relationship is safe from troubles and challenges. As couples embark on a roller coaster of ups and downs, conflicts are only natural. Sometimes couples tend to avoid conflict, but this often backfires. Bottling up thoughts and feelings is not a healthy way to protect yourself or your marriage. Some couples choose to give up, but you don’t have to.

If you want to fight for your relationship, you need to learn how to fight wisely. Don’t wait too long to receive counseling. Before waving the flag of surrender, it could be helpful to seek therapy.

Reach out to Carolina Counseling Services – Fayetteville, NC, where an independently contracted counselor/therapist can help you protect and strengthen your marriage. Don’t wait, call now to request an appointment and start rebuilding the life you’ve built together.

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