Practicing Practical Self-Care

It wouldn’t be the month of love without self-care!

As we enter February, the month of love, I would be remiss if I didn’t bring up the topic of self-care. With many gearing up to show their undying love, why not show yourself some love also? I know it may sound cliche, but we really do need to take care of ourselves before we can take care of anyone else. So why is it that so many of us put ourselves on the back burner? Actually, most of us barely even put ourselves on the stove. 

It seems lately that if you aren’t doing too much, you aren’t doing enough. This type of mentality, wearing our overwhelm as a badge of honor, has to stop. So why not stop now? As we move out of the month of “New Year New Me” let’s move into a new mindset, one of self-care. 

Unfortunately, putting ourselves first tends to get a bad wrap. It’s viewed as being selfish. The truth is, putting yourself first is a far cry from being selfish. Being selfish means you only care about yourself, the needs of others aren’t important to you, you’re number one so forget everyone else. Putting your needs on a level playing field with the needs of others is what putting yourself first is really about. 

If you’ve ever been on an airplane you know the instructions: put your air mask on first, before assisting others. We are of no use to ourselves, or any of those that need us, if we are passed out! This is applicable in most other life situations. 

Taking care of your basic needs (and gasp maybe even a little extra) helps us to be a lot more effective for ourselves and others. This, my friend, is a large part of self-care. 

What is Self-Care? 

We have all heard the words “self-care”, though many don’t know exactly what it entails. It can bring up images of lavish vacations and spa packages. Indulgent things that the average person doesn’t have the time or resources for on a regular basis. This is not what self-care is. 

Self-care is doing what you need to do to remain physically and emotionally healthy. That’s it. So sure, it can include vacations and massages but that is such a small piece of it. 

Self-care is NOT being selfish or self-involved. It’s maintaining your health so that you can live a long healthy life and be there for those you care about (including yourself). Once again, a far cry from being selfish. 

What Makes It So Hard to Practice Self-Care?

I have A LOT of thoughts about this, though I think a big part of what makes it so difficult is all or nothing thinking. We wear our overwhelm like a badge of honor. We firmly believe that there is always more that we could be doing. 

“You only slept 5 hours last night? Well I only got 3!” How often have you heard a conversation like that? It happens all the time, if you aren’t doing too much you aren’t doing enough. I would love for everyone to be able to say they got 8 hours of sleep and not feel guilty, lazy, shocked….. Insert any negative feeling that may come along with healthy self-care. 

Another thing that makes practicing self-care challenging is obligation. We wear a lot of hats. Most of us have so many responsibilities that the idea of adding one more task to the list, even one that we may enjoy, seems impossible. Just like most things in life, practicing self-care isn’t an all or nothing thing. It takes time, it can happen gradually and there are times it won’t happen nearly enough. That doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re human. 

Practicing Self-Care

I cannot stress this enough, it is called PRACTICING for a reason. No one is perfect when it comes to self-care. Not even me, and I’m a therapist! It takes time and effort. There will be times you are killing it when it comes to self-care and there will be times you aren’t even doing the bare minimum. Hopefully you spend the majority of your time somewhere in between. 

When you are wanting to begin practicing self-care, start with the basics and start small. If you read my previous post we talked about setting short term goals. This is also applicable here. Don’t set yourself up for failure, set small attainable goals for yourself and you will want to keep growing your self-care practice. Practical self-care is often far more reasonable and sustainable. 

Practical Self-Care….. What is that?

Practical self-care is basically what it sounds like, self-care activities that are practical and doable. If you want to build self-care practices that will continue they have to fit for you and your life. If you hate running and you decide you’re going to run a 5k for your self-care it’s unlikely that you will engage in any type of self-care. 

Take a look at what you enjoy, if you love running ignore my previous statement, get out there. But if you enjoy other things like watching movies, reading, walking, yoga, baking etc carve out some time to do a little of that this week. That’s right, this week, no time like the present. 

Also, don’t forget the most practical of self-care, meeting your basic needs. Are you getting enough sleep? Do you eat throughout the day? When was the last time you got your recommended daily intake of water. This is also self-care. Self-care is taking care of yourself. You wouldn’t get in your car with a gallon of gas in the tank and expect to drive three hours to the beach. Don’t treat your body like that. 

To Sum It Up

Your needs are just as important as everyone else’s. Focusing on yourself, meeting your basic needs, treating yourself and practicing practical self-care are all necessary things to be a healthy human. Self-care is NOT selfish, it is necessary. 

Ask yourself what you truly need to be healthy this February and start working on how to get there through practical self-care. 

It can be hard to put yourself first. It can be hard to put yourself last. Choose your hard, my fellow humans. And don’t forget, therapy can help.