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If your marriage is struggling and your spouse refuses to go to counseling you may be left not knowing where to turn or what to do. There are many reasons this can happen, ranging from your spouse feeling as if everything is fine to feeling that the marriage is already over. Regardless of their reasoning, you have options on what you can do next. Focusing on your personal growth and seeking out individual counseling may be just what you are looking for. 

Sidestepping Conflict

No one is perfect, so people should not expect marriage to be. No relationship is free of conflict, frustrations, anger and distress. While this may be true, you also don’t want your relationship to be full of this. Sometimes problems grow slowly until they are intolerable. Sometimes we avoid sharing how we feel in order to not “rock the boat”. Whatever our motivation, concerns are often sidestepped until they can no longer be ignored. 

Don’t wait until this happens to seek support. Counseling can help you to learn effective ways to communicate your concerns and begin to resolve conflict. You can learn these skills in therapy with or without your spouse there. 

The Blame Game

Taking accountability is difficult. Oftentimes we blame other people, situations or things for what is going wrong in our relationships. When we are aware of our roles in certain situations we can begin to take back control. 

Counseling can help you to identify what you can change and learn skills to move forward. This does not mean you take accountability for the actions of your spouse; it merely means that you begin to take responsibility for what you can control. 

Healthy Relationships Include Healthy People

You may feel that there are things you regret doing, taking care of yourself likely won’t be one of those things. When you engage in counseling you can begin to explore your own habits and patterns, learning skills to help you grow. When you feel healthier it’s likely that your relationships will too. Also, if your spouse sees that therapy is benefitting you, they may also want to engage in counseling. 

No Matter What

These are misconceptions about marriage counseling. This can lead many to avoid going, however, that doesn’t mean that you can’t go! An experienced and highly-skillful counselor can help. Whether your spouse is ready for therapy or not, you can still go and focus on your own growth.

Carolina Counseling Services – Fayetteville, NC contracts with experienced, caring therapists. Call today to get started.

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