How Mental Load Affects Your Mental Health

Life is full of responsibilities. Some of them are visible and some are not. The visible responsibilities we may have are going to work, taking care of pets and children, keeping up our homes etc. People can see these tasks and they can be tiring but perhaps not as tiring as some of the more invisible responsibilities that we have.

These often quiet, invisible tasks are what we call “mental load”. This is all the behind the scenes work we do in order to execute tasks and keep things moving along. If you are going on vacation you don’t simply walk out the door and begin your journey. There are so many things that need to be done before to make this happen. You have to research where you are going, decide where you want to stay, make reservations, book flights, find someone to dog sit, pack, get your home ready to sit while you are gone etc.

All of this work and organization can be exhausting, though this isn’t always recognized. Even if you don’t recognize the work involved in carrying the mental load, it can still take a huge toll on you and your mental health.

While the physical act of managing responsibilities may feel exhausting, carrying the mental load can be even more draining. Here are some ways that mental load can impact you:

Chronic Cognitive Overload. We are not meant to multitask at all times. Chronic multitasking will take a toll on you. Managing it all and constantly fielding thoughts can lead to forgetfulness, fatigue and overwhelm. When we are always on we can feel extremely anxious and on edge.
Burnout. You can only feel overwhelmed for so long before you burnout. Constant pressure will leave you feeling crispy. When we feel burned out we stop caring and often even feel physical symptoms. Burnout can leave you feeling exhausted, experiencing muscle tension, gastrointestinal distress and headaches. Burnout also impacts how you feel, often feeling detached, helpless and even hopeless.
Impaired Relationships. When your mental load is overwhelming, it can also leave you feeling frustrated, irritable and resentful. This can wreak havoc on your relationships. It is hard to be present and engaged with your partner, family members and/or friends when you are constantly in your head trying to balance your mental load. This can also leave you feeling frustrated, isolated and alone.
Poor Self-Care. Unfortunately, when we are overwhelmed the first thing we take off our plate is our own needs. Too much to do at work, we skip lunch. The house is a mess, stay up later and clean. Your friend needs you to help them move, might as well skip that workout you were looking forward to. We often put ourselves on a shelf to attend to our responsibilities. This can be incredibly unhealthy and put us into an even worse spot.

How Can You Get Your Mental Load Under Control?

Managing mental load is essential for maintaining your mental and physical health. Here are some ideas on how to begin to get things back under control.

Delegate and Share the Load. Sharing responsibilities can be an incredibly effective way to get your mental load under control. You don’t have to do it all alone, though you cannot expect others to know you need help if you don’t ask. No one is a mind reader. You deserve help so you better start communicating!
Prioritize Self-Care. You can’t pour from an empty cup. You also can’t expect to magically have time for yourself. Practicing practical self-care is essential and it needs to be a regular, daily practice. Be sure to schedule time to focus on your own needs. If you don’t plan for it, it won’t happen. This can simply mean that you make sure you eat lunch every day. Take care of yourself, you need to.
Set Boundaries. Saying no is essential to your wellbeing and necessary to take care of your mental health. If you’re taking on too much, work on being more selective about the commitments you accept. It’s okay to recognize and honor that your mental load is full and that you don’t want to take on anything else.
Seek Support If you’re feeling overwhelmed by mental load, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Talking to a therapist can be a powerful way to gain perspective, develop coping strategies, and reduce feelings of isolation. A counselor can also help you explore any underlying factors contributing to your mental load, such as perfectionism or anxiety.

In Summary

Mental load is real. There are so many expectations and responsibilities we face each day. Some are visible and some are not. Whether we pay attention to the impact of mental load or not doesn’t decide whether it becomes toxic. You can ignore it all you want, it won’t go away unless you take action to do better.

When we are experiencing a heavy mental load we can begin to feel helpless. Mental load is powerful but you aren’t powerless. You can take steps to take better care of yourself and lessen your mental load.

Doing nothing about your mental load can be hard. Taking steps to lessen your mental load can be hard. Choose your hard, my fellow human. And don’t forget, therapy can help.