Guilt Doesn’t Have to be Paralyzing

Guilt is a natural human emotion, one that is often painted as being very negative. While guilt can lead us to feeling bad or even ashamed at times, it is only an emotion. What we choose to do with it can determine whether it is good or bad. While you may know that to be true, you may also feel like you are stuck in an endless cycle of guilt and shame. 

Though guilt can have good points, it can also be unpredictable and stop you from moving on with your life. Guilt can come from a lot of places, becoming unhealthy rather quickly. If you feel that guilt is impacting the way you feel and live your life you may want to consider counseling. 

Is Guilt Good? 

Guilt is a human emotion that is both useful, and sometimes, necessary, depending on certain situations. It can help you to be sensitive to how others feel. It may also prevent you from doing or saying things that go against your moral ethics. It may make you think of what “you should do” rather than what “you want.” As a result, you might find yourself avoiding asserting yourself for fear of harming or offending people. It can give you a feeling of remorse, wishing that you could undo what was done, and even keep you stuck in regret. 

Guilt is thought to be a “pro-social” emotion, preserving and protecting your relationships. When we feel guilty because we have actually done something that we view as “morally wrong” guilt can lead us to apologize and make amends. It can encourage us to improve our behaviors and do better next time. This is the healthy or “good” kind of guilt. 

Guilt becomes problematic when we have not in fact done anything “wrong” and we still feel it. This can create a vicious cycle as there is no way out of this kind of guilt, how can you make amends without something to truly amend? 

When Guilt Becomes Unhealthy

Being a negative emotion, it can generate an uncomfortable feeling. Dr. Guy Winch of Psychology Today says, “In small doses, guilt can benefit us. But when it runs free, it can cause havoc.” He points out some instances when guilt becomes negative including:

• Feel reluctant to embrace the joys of life. Studies revealed that ridden with guilt, people tend to shy away from things that they can truly enjoy. They may water themselves down and choose safer options rather than exciting ones. If you are feeling guilty you may feel that you don’t deserve to do things you enjoy. 
• Self-punishment. If you are feeling guilty you may feel compelled to punish yourself for your wrongdoings. This can include talking to yourself in a negative way, not practicing self-care, not buying yourself things or even self-injury in more extreme instances. 
• Avoiding the person you’ve wronged. You may not notice it, but because of guilt, you may avoid the people whom you believed you have wronged.  Unfortunately, avoidance can only aggravate miscommunication, and so does the guilt. This can be particularly difficult if the other person does not feel you have done anything wrong, they may be confused by your actions as well. 
• Becoming resentful. Guilt is often an uncomfortable emotion. Nobody wants to feel it. If you are feeling guilty a lot of the time you may begin to resent yourself and/or the people you feel you have wronged. Resentment is rarely ever healthy and can impact you as well as your relationships. 
• Guilt-prone people assume they’ve harmed others when they haven’t. Guilt can leave you feeling anxious and overly sensitive about others. You may think that you are harming others even when you aren’t. 
• Guilt can cause you to feel literally heavier and burdened. The emotion is like a weighty burden, making doing what you need to do more difficult. This can even lead to depression down the line. 

Putting an End to Excessive Guilt

Guilt is a powerful emotion, whether that is a positive or negative is up to you. If you are feeling stuck in a loop of excessive guilt you may not know how to get out. You aren’t alone. Finding a credible therapist can make a world of difference when it comes to ridding yourself of excessive guilt. 

Carolina Counseling Services – Fayetteville Office contracts with licensed counselors and therapists who can help you work through your guilt and come out stronger on the other side. You can end excessive guilt and move forward. Call CCS today to schedule your first appointment.