The families of the members of the military have a lot of lessons to share and teach the rest of the humanity about grief. Their lives are fraught with heartbreaking experiences as their military spouses and parents leave for tours of duty or as they follow them when they move from one base/post to another. Military Spouses and children are often in a state of “mourning” the many kinds of losses they experience on a day-to-day or week-to-week level.

Grieving Children

Behind every soldier is a family that faces challenges because of deployment, not seeing the parent for long days on end and living with the knowledge that the parent is exposed to risks. These are all quite stressful. Children lose their sense of security when they think of possibilities. They also lose their “roots” – their friends and old school – as they follow the military parent. They grieve and mourn these losses differently so as a parent, you may assume they’re alright, only to observe later that they may have released their grief in non-productive ways.

Grieving Spouses

The life of a serviceman’s spouse is never an easy one. Aside from feeling anguish with the thoughts of what might happen, they also have to go through life transitions each time their spouses are transferred to new duty stations. They may lose careers or jobs that are not only providing them income but which are also sources of fulfillment. They leave behind ties – friends and relatives – each time they do so.

Spouses can also be overwhelmed by other factors such as the thought of becoming a single parent if a tragedy strikes.

Grieving/Anxious Parents

Couples with a child in the military may have lives that are as fraught with anxiety and grief. They constantly worry about their son or daughter serving the military or fighting a war in foreign shores. They dreadfully await news not knowing what is happening during the skirmishes. They spend every waking moment worrying about their beloved son or daughter who is faced with constant danger.

Overcoming Grief with Help

It is not easy to fathom the intensity of grief that the families of the soldiers go through on a day to day basis. Being anxious or worried is a normal feeling, but living with it endlessly can be devastating.

Don’t delay or avoid talking to your children about their grief and loss. If you are bothered by what to say to make them feel secure or to overcome a loss, bring in professional help. Countless military marriages end in divorce to end grief and perpetual life transitions. It is better to have an intervention to prevent the marriage from going down this path, and intervention where they are able to talk about their feelings and thoughts and get them resolved. Parents too must receive the same attention so they can talk about their grief.

Carolina Counseling Services – Fayetteville, NC is ready to provide assistance to the families of active military, retirees or veterans. We have several therapists who have expertise in this area. The families of our nation’s unsung heroes deserve a life that they can enjoy despite all odds. You are not alone; let Carolina Counseling Services – Fayetteville, NC contracted therapists help you and/or your family member overcome your grief.

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