Embarking on a Journey:
Exploring the Adventure of Marriage

When you are taking a long trip, you prepare your vehicle ahead of time, you pack, you plan your trip to a “T”. You would never take the chance with an ill equipped vehicle to begin your well planned adventure. You may have to go to a mechanic to have your vehicle inspected, as they are the experts to ensure your vehicle is road worthy. Road trips are much different than a marriage, however there are similarities, in a marriage you must plan, prepare, and be as preventative as possible. Sometimes in marriage you also have to seek the help of a therapist as they are the experts in communication and relationship building.

Relationship Goals:

• Elevating your relationship. Being one another’s best friend ensures you have good communication outside of your romantic relationship. This also helps to ensure the two of you both continue to enjoy your time together.
• Feeling safe to express your thoughts and feelings. Couples who are comfortable with one another and who engage in open communication are able to discuss the “tough things”. Without this trust some couples shy away from openly discussing important aspects of their relationship, which can cause a wedge within the relationship.
• Feeling secure in your relationship. If you are able to feel safe with your partner it opens the door to new opportunities to not only learn more about your partner, but also about yourself. Being connected with your partner is important, however developing your own hobbies separate from one another is also a necessity. Though, couples who are not as secure within their relationship may fear that developing a life outside of your partner may decrease your connectivity with your partner.
• Intimacy is imperative. Intimacy is a heavy word as often when some couples begin to think of intimacy they think about the physical aspects of intimacy. However, there are many ways to build intimacy with your partner that do not involve the physical element. Being able to connect with your partner on a deeper level is in fact intimacy.
• Safely agree to disagree. In a relationship, conflicts are bound to arise, though many have the belief that disagreeing with your partner is a recipe for disaster. This is simply not true, as individuals cohabitating with one another you are bound to disagree. But the important thing about conflict is that you learn to fight fair. Recognizing that “winning” the argument is a loss for the relationship as a whole. Working together as a team accepting faults when they arise and always striving to be open to feedback, actually helps you and your partner grow closer to one another.
• Not feeling alone. Throughout your relationship there may be times when you feel the success or failure of the relationship rests on your shoulders. Whether this is true or just your perspective at the moment, it is always important to discuss this with your partner. The goal is that you and your partner learn how to function as a team and work together to support one another. Additionally, having your partner’s back in situations involving others who are outside of your relationship helps to build cohesiveness.

Marriage is definitely one of your most intricate road trips you will ever embark upon. Though as the years roll by if your goal is to continuously work on growing within your relationship the two of you can withstand the tests of time. If you are getting to the point of your marital ride that the road seems to be a bit bumpy, don’t wait too long, seek out the help of a counselor to help you and your partner learn new ways to grow with one another. At Carolina Counseling Services – Fayetteville, NC we can help.